Photo by Dominik Morbitzer.
It's 2023. Hi. Happy New Year. Let's get real.
Choosing to carry burdens and letting them suffocate you rather than putting them down because you’re afraid of what the air will feel like in your lungs is a very spooky life decision. You don’t wake up one day magically having figured it out. Getting your story straight is not passive. You get more clarity through claiming your authority and making decisions. There’s a great deal of self-respect and self-love required to be able to decide on yourself without thinking, but you don’t get to that place without practicing. There is no “wake up and get it.” Whenever we let our logic tell us that story, we’re ignoring many little points of decision we’ve already made. Take up your mantle. You’re crumbling under the weight of avoiding it. That’s why it all hurts so much. In this line of work, I meet lots of incredible people unsure they can sustain exactly what they were designed to be/have/live. You wouldn’t have any dreams in a particular direction without some aspect of them being possible. The possibility is already seeded somewhere in you (and the blueprint is waiting to be claimed). The choice you have to make is whether or not you’ll smother what wants to sprout. Please don’t let fear be THE defining factor in your life. Fear is not you. Fear is meant to be present when there’s a threat to your survival. Fear cares. It comes because it wants you to continue living. Stop misunderstanding it. You becoming yourself is not the threat, it's the whole point. (Maybe it's a threat to those interested in keeping you limited.) It’s what you’re meant to be doing. There are seasons where you “survive,” but when you become aware of THRIVING, take that. Cultivate it. Amplify it. Court it. Do what it takes to make it a permanent presence in your life. You would never expect someone you don’t show love and care for to remain in your life. Why would you expect that of thriving? You have a duty. Ask the material questions. Answer them. Make the necessary choices. Do not expect some sort of sea change just from waking up in a new year. You could have decided to be/behave differently any day that ends in y. If you have a recurring limiting belief - which is really a decision via reinvestment - you need to do the work to unroot it. And if everyone around you has the same belief? Fuck ‘em. Go over their heads. It’s really ok. “But all my friends and family believe this is the way to be and that you’re a bad person for believing otherwise.” Please stop hurting yourself for community. As someone familiar with ostracism and alienation (yes, I am an Aquarius), I can tell you I have always been welcomed back where love was true when I’ve had to distance myself to BE myself. I fear not being myself far more than I do loneliness. Fearing loneliness more than you fear losing yourself is a sure way to be lonely in a room full of people. I have never been fed or fulfilled pretending to be anyone else. No one can give me love that way because they don’t even know where I’m standing. I will not compromise myself: that’s a real survival threat. It’s 2023. Be ruthless in your love for yourself. This is active work. And, as I said earlier, the reason why that would fill you with dread/exhaustion is because you’re being crushed. You're being crushed by not doing your work. You are being pulverized by the weight of "uncertainty" because you're somewhere beyond where your logic can take you. Not deciding is a decision. Pretending you don’t know something is a decision. Feigning incompetence is a decision. What exactly do you think you’re protecting yourself from when you choose these strategies? If something in your life is rotting, do not let it spread. Repair it if you can, and let it go to regain its wholeness if you can’t.
Here are some reflection questions for you to kick off your year.
Who are you?
Do you believe that becoming yourself is a bad thing? If so, who taught you that, and are you willing to unlearn it?
Where do you want to go over the next year?
If you were fully yourself at all times, what would your life look like?
Who did you show yourself to be through your actions last year?
Is that who you are? If not, who are you? Who do you decide to be this year?
What do you need to do?
If you're really ready to get your story straight aka you were triggered as hell by this, sign up here for information on my February seminar. This 3-part seminar will feature The Neurointuitive Method, hypnosis, human design, and some of my signature exercises. (Yes, the $50,000 ones.)
Happy New Year!