Updated: Jul 16, 2022
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I, for one, am tired of “love and light” ideology. We come from as much darkness as we do light and something so primal it cannot always be called love. In the words of Joni Mitchell, “We are stardust. We are golden.” We are flecks of stardust colliding for alchemical purposes, swirling somewhere in a vast universe full of undiscovered darkness. In essence, we are divine dirt. If that’s not as exalting as it is humbling, I’m not sure what could be.
So, we’re down here, hopefully minding our business and being decent divine dirt. What drives divine dirt to cultivate an existence? It can’t all be external pressure. We could be rocks. They’re probably sentient. For the purposes of this thought exercise, I will, without any sense of hierarchy or supremacy, consider the divine dirt we identify as human.
What motivates you, Divine Dirt Specimen #4050339920302-01? Even if you’re a person who pretends to stumble through life, there is an engine. While we spend a lot of time yielding to influence outside of ourselves, there’s always that little spark of the divine. It tells you no, do not let them speak to you that way and yes, that’s what I want. The engine, Your Higher Self, is loud, but somehow, we can drown it out.
Your Higher Self is always present, transmitting and transmuting behind all of the noise of the world. Where does this Self come from? Whether or not you believe in the divine, you have to acknowledge you are often your own saving grace. All of the best love, the best care, and the best grace that we seek from others has to be conceived of. Conception, in this case, is autonomous. (This may be easier to believe for those who were educated in the United States’ system.) The divine dirt is quite literally the mother of all invention.
All that you crave is latent within you or something you’ve actively thought of, dreamed, imagined, etc. You’re the originator, the co-creator. You’ve come prepackaged with a unique blend of talents and attunements: what we choose to do with them, where we grow, and how we operate comes later. For now, being not just of Source but Source itself is more than enough.
How many times have you been drawn to a particular book? When you opened it, did you find medicine? Did you find something that spoke to you? That was your Source guiding you. How about times when something has told you to leave a room, to move out of a particular corner? When you did, was it preservative? Did it keep you from danger? That was your Source guiding you.
The divine dirt is pretty freaking cool. All of that infinite possibility in infinite particles, constantly renewing and morphing itself. There’s no way that this (imagine me gesticulating wildly around my head as I type), as ugly and as chaotic as it can get, is anything short of miraculous. One specimen of divine dirt can wreak havoc or heal masses. One specimen of divine dirt can shift a narrative. One specimen of divine dirt makes an impact just existing in space, moving imperceptible particles out of the way to move through the world.
So, back to “love and light…” Love and light are good, resonance is better, divine truth is the best. Love and light do not work without acknowledgment of reality. In order to create a new reality, you have to be aware of the old.
Pop-“wellness” would have you believe that manifestation is the same thing as delusional thinking. And don’t worry, all of my fans of delusional thinking, it does play a key role in manifestation. You truly have to believe that your wishes are there to be fulfilled, that the Universe is loving, responsive, and responsible for bringing it to you. In short, you have to be a little cocky and have a little vision; however, you have to be aware of blocks (both personal, structural, and ancestral) that are getting in the way. It’s like this: if something is looming over your shoulder or thundering at your back, you can’t fix your eyes forward. You will keep sneaking glances behind you when what’s in front of you deserves your full attention.
This is why you meet people who pay for the same manifestation courses with different language, year after year, coach after coach, book after book, and spell after spell. They have not resolved what’s over their shoulder. There is an erroneous belief that you cannot “manifest” good things if you acknowledge what’s over your shoulder. “But I don’t want to give it power,” I’ve heard in some iteration from clients and strangers alike. I’ve even heard it from my ego self. Fear and avoidance empower. Resolution requires acknowledgement and conversion. What is conversion? It is alchemy. It is the ability to look at a fear, acknowledge the belief, and begin to counter it with another. It is how we produce shifts and it is generally by degrees. What is it you have been called to transmute?