And all I’ve done for want of wisdom

Possibly for the first time ever, I do not feel like a fixer upper or a work in progress. To be clear, when I use those descriptors, I mean in the way a Gilded Age mansion may “need work.” The bones are excellent, the design flawless, the details care-filled, and the workmanship incredible. All that sort of property needs is capital, diligence, and workhumans of high caliber to be “restored” or taken into its next chapter. I have reached a new depth of self-acceptance, and may there always be new depths for me to discover. For now, this one is quite satisfying. I don’t know when “now” stops, my eyes are not aimed that way. I am where I am. 

I am pleased with what I’ve done, even the things some loftier, more abstracted, more egoic version of me wishes I hadn’t done. This version of “me” has no address. I cannot really locate her. I would have to hunt in places that do not serve me to conjure her up. 

I, who get to benefit from hindsight, am quite happily wrapped up in the now. It is my sincere prayer for everyone reading this that as they advance through time, new levels of self-acceptance appear. They usually do, but people act like this is solely a function of time or just a thing that happens. To many people, it will be a “thing that happens.” For many people, it will be a result of things that happen. Life has a way of putting questions to you at times the ego would consider inopportune but are infinitely opportune to your soul. I have met older people who haven’t received the gifts from those confrontations. I have met older people who have never unclenched. I pray that none of you become those older people because we are truly on a spinning rock and we have senses with which to enjoy it. 

As much as this may appear to be the case, and it is a relief when it so appears, most of us don’t just wake up one day comfortable in our essence. It’s a choice. A series of choices. So, anyway, I’m reporting (smugly because faux humble is boring to me) from deepened self-acceptance. I’m enjoying this shit while it lasts, may it run everlong.

This deepened self-acceptance is the result of a lot of little decisions, a lot of little realizations, and a couple of big confrontations. The woman I was 3 months ago can’t really hold court with the woman I am today. Again, don’t get me wrong, she was really freaking cool… but she hadn’t let some of the seasoning soak in yet. There is no shortage of seasoning to be had in Earth School. (I cannot believe I signed up for this again. Actually… looking around… I believe it. Y’all need me. Not as Jesus-lite - though I’ve been that for some - but you need me. I’m a part of this uniquely ravaged tapestry. You’re welcome.) 

I cannot be moved for less than my highest and best. When I made that decision, which I’ve encouraged others to make, I was a little scared. Because I realized I had no idea what that looked like. My ego mind feared going without. When you grow up within and witnessing skewed dynamics aka inequitable exchanges, that’s perfectly natural. This is what makes prosperity a skill; if we are a part of dominant society, some aspect of our lives is typically steeped in lack/extraction. Your life lessons are tweaked according to where those imbalances showed up. Some of my extremely financially wealthy clients have been mired in personal and interpersonal imbalances. The material is background noise. My customers and clients with material survival concerns usually have had those plus the personal and interpersonal imbalances. (Sorry about that. That’s not right. This is also why I keep preaching that relative poverty is engineered and the first step for most people who leave it is psychospiritual. Because in my experience… it is. I don’t want you crying in a Mazda or a Rolls.)

Henceforth, life is just going to have to take me as I am. (Everyone else, too. Not a soul is bigger than the program.) Only a former control freak or someone placed out of control forcibly would believe that life was ever doing otherwise. I’m sure as life progresses, I’ll keep refining in certain areas, but right now… I don’t care. I am what I am. I am who I am, thank G-d/dess.

As I say goodbye to 2025, I say goodbye to any versions of me that believed I had to earn me. (The rest of you do. I will not be moved for less than my due.) That statement will be uncomfortable if you are under any illusions about value and belonging. You should sort that out. I've earned many of my connections before the person was even in the figurative or literal room through my choices in being.

As 2026 makes itself known, you’re going to find a lot of the habitual helpers in a similar energy. It’s a collective phenomenon, despite how individual this can feel. If you are a helper, don’t worry… there will still be good things to do in the world and it’s also time to be helped. (Also, drop any ego program you have going about “better.” Everyone’s better is subjective, and not everyone wants what you have or is willing to hold it.) If you are someone who has exclusively been helped, it’s time to put your back into your life and it’s time to help others where you are called. Do your work. Either way, there is some kind of rebalancing going on. We need it.

The title of this little reflection came to me from one of my favorite traditional songs (“The Parting Glass”). This time of year I actually tend to fly my Scots flag real high, and you may be surprised to know that song is actually Scottish. (The song was cannily usurped in seasonal popularity by “Auld Lang Syne,” the more you know.) It was tradition to give someone leaving your home a little something to tide them over on their way. The original line is, “And all I’ve done for want of wit, to memory now I can’t recall.” All of the silly things you’ve done have a purpose. The purpose is you. 

Goodnight and joy be with you all,

Keylee, Your Neurointuitive

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For those of you interested in learning yourself on a deeper level in 2026, I will be providing 40 days of 1:1 service in 2026. You can indulge your curiosity and your ambition with Neurointuitive tools via our end-of-year Archival opening. All offerings are members only, and you will need to be approved for access. You can remain in touch with The Neurointuitive here.