“You don’t even believe you:” how a make do mentality influences outcomes & how to eliminate it

Painting by Carbide

(why you need some black Air Force 1 energy in this life)

I was recently talking to my email list about something called the “make do” mentality. It’s a mentality that develops when you become used to being disappointed. Life is really fun. (Not when you have a make do mentality.) The first move you need to make to counter this mentality is actually giving a damn about your soul. Saturn in Aries means you genuinely have to care about what happens to you. 

Let’s first talk about the “make do” mentality: it’s a control tactic the ego learns to deploy so that one is never disappointed. Does that work? No. Your ego is full of hot air when it’s not backed by the soul, which knows where you truly need to go. Your ego tries to keep your life "manageable," hence the urge to "make do." Life is by definition expansive. For your life to expand to the fullest extent, you cannot be careless with yourself. When you have a make do mentality, you don’t even believe you when you feel into your desire. Your first response is to tamp that desire down, reaching for reasons you cannot have it instead of “show me how to have it.” 

You have two kinds of ego: healthy and unhealthy. Healthy ego’s strong suit is tailoring your desire and providing strategic flair to its pursuit. When your unhealthy ego has become the decision maker, you operate in prevention mode. Your healthy ego likes who you are and wants you to stay that way. When paired with the soul, it can assist you in becoming more of yourself. When it's separated from the soul, healthy ego fears change and throws itself in with the unhealthy.

A "make do" mentality is a mentality of the minimum. You look for ways to have less, usually without noticing. You just wake up one day feeling like you’re drowning because your soul’s been without air for so long. You become untrustworthy to your own spirit in the process. It takes work to rebuild that trust. You have to become an individual of your word… and that integrity has to be reflected in thought and deed. 

Your challenge is to make time to go into the stillness. The stillness is the only place you hear your “soul speak.” You decenter "making do" every time you listen and act on what you’ve heard. You urge yourself to ask Life for what you truly want. You stop focusing on managerial duties. A manager doesn't necessarily own the entire enterprise, correct? Stop just watching your own store. Stop restocking the same inventory. When something goes wrong, operate as the power in your life. Reclaim ownership of your present and thus the future. Look to the past as data, not a neverending font of regret. Data is worthless without proper interpretation. Take control of that, too, and remember your autonomy.

The mentality of "minimum" is a funny thing because it doesn't just color your thinking on giving, it colors your thinking on receiving. People with the mentality of the minimum believe they have to turn to force, manipulation, and repression to survive. So, reject that through becoming an individual of your word. Opt into your power as co-creator, accepting your responsibility and your possibility. Know that “success” is highly probable with your commitment and your gumption. 

You cannot be casual with yourself at this time on earth. This is not a time for ambivalence. Any experience you believe to be adverse carries as much value as you believe it took. Become mercenary with your experience: every experience in your life has something to give you. Demand it. Set the tone and declare it to be “good.” This is not entitled; this is Truth. When you’re in “make do” mentality mode, you’re constantly afraid. You are constantly bracing for less than or negativity. Stand up to that fear by standing up for yourself. Decide you will be compensated for any hardship you’ve ever experienced. (This works much better when you agree to give appropriately as you receive.)  

Years ago, I had someone renege on a contract. I felt hopping mad, I felt disrespected, and I felt frustrated. (Notice how careful I was with “I am” statements there.) I decided to put my black Air Force 1s on. For those of you not chronically online and/or not from an urban environment, those are fighting shoes. I thought I was going to scrap with that person (through legal means). Since this was the second time in a relatively short period that someone had skipped out on a bill, I pumped the brakes on my ego and I asked what I was being shown.

The first thing I decided was that I would never be in that position again. (We have setpoints in life… we get to decide them.) I declared I was willing to do whatever was necessary for that to be the case. The dramatic answer would have been to shut my business down, but that didn’t benefit anyone, least of all me. There were some practical tweaks that were suggested to me, but the energetics piece was the point of the lesson. I had accepted work from someone who didn’t want to do their own work and had trouble with their word. 

After the first session, I knew very clearly on a soul-level that I had no interest in working with that individual... but we had a signed contract. I had given my word, so I persisted, even though using my gifts on someone who does not meet the criteria is out of integrity for me. On a practical level, I completely rewrote all of my contracts. I changed the vetting process for my clientele. I decided to be paid in full before any services are rendered. On an energetic level, I was much more aware of where I was being “accommodating” prior to considering myself. “Accommodating” means “make fitting.” If you are not in your integrity (“wholeness”), you can’t accommodate anything or anyone. You are foundational to the equation, not an afterthought. I had to become better with my own word; clearer on what I was willing to do for what and for whom, more vocal when something wasn't working for me, and more rooted in my value. Pretty quickly after I went into the silence and got the “soul speak,” I signed a contract with a really enjoyable client at about twice the price. It was easy, productive, and joyful. I was paid on time. 

I do not allow the Universe to trifle with me. The Universe is a creation just as I am. I focus on Source and carefully calibrate my relationship with it. It is entirely within your power to decide to be care-full. It is entirely within your power to tell life you’re not messing around. No one and nothing has permission to derail you, and you can always right your vessel. 

If this is a skillset you are interested in learning in a direct manner, I have created tools to assist you. You can find them here. If money is an area you are finding your "make do" mentality is running the show, join me on August 9th to address that.