I love a rainy morning that I don't have to venture into. I like to cocoon myself with books, music, cards, and the sound of the outside. Shelter. Have you ever felt the need to shelter from your own enthusiasm?
We generally start things from passion or strong-arming. The passion is what you have unfettered access to: it's where you have to return to keep going. When you've experienced failure or burnout, your natural enthusiasm - your passion - can get worn down. You start to numb for shelter. Experience engenders a different kind of resilience. It's not the same sort of wild "I'll try anything" that accompanies initial passion. It starts to become tempered. It's an "I'll try anything*" (*within reason). This isn't a bad thing.
It's not a bad thing, but it's up to you to give that passion response mouth to mouth. Give it a big french kiss every now and again. Give it an embrace. We do need that primordial passion. When you pair it with pure imagination and your experience, you create on levels unseen.
When you don't have experience with something and you dive in without noticing, your affect is similar to a bouncing ball. You don't even notice you're being buffeted around. You're just focused on the new, new, new. What's over there? I want to touch it. Every time you hit a hard surface, you just bounce off of it. You extricate yourself without noticing. It's just your nature.
If you don't get another infusion of energy, eventually the knocks absorb your momentum, force some of the wind from you, and make you stop. You could stop at that point until you get nudged along again by something else. You could forget you were once a bouncing ball. Or you could remember. You can remember. You can also remember how particular walls impacted you and choose a more defined path. You can remember what it took to infuse and enthuse yourself before. You can choose.
This is your cue to be as generous with your passion as you are with your anxiety. Passion feels better, so eventually you'll shift the balance to become more generous with it. Be generous with your willingness to get excited. It's good for your brain and it's good for your soul. Stop hiding from your enthusiasm.
Many blessings and total love,
If you need a little activation energy, I encourage you to check out the Procrastination Hypnosis.