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"Get" Your Life: The Art of Receiving - A Love Letter to Black Femmes

*As Written for The Harambee Collective, August 2020*

You already have your life. It was a gift to you from your ancestors. “Getting” is a ferocious alternative to aligning with all that is already in store for you. Black femmes are continuously told that we have to fight for everything –– from recognition to basic care and consideration. This message is effective because it is not always verbal, it is communicated through our structures and built into our psyches. Here is your permission: you do not constantly have to be in fight mode, survival mode, or even active mode. There is more than enough righteous activity in being in flow and receptive to a responsive, loving Universe.

Key to me even beginning to get my life was the acknowledgment that I could rest. I spent so much of my life feeling like I was clawing my way through, held back by misconceptions and lack. Black life is predicated on faith: how could we be so beautiful, so special, so resilient without it? And yet, we still have to shift this faith from a place of supplication to a place of co-creation.

I identified strongly with ancestors who worked hard for everything they had, toiling till they should have had nothing left then giving more. I hadn’t yet realized that I didn’t have to be them as I sought to expand on their legacy. As we honor our ancestors with getting our lives, we must realize that they are just that: ours. We do not have to be them, make their mistakes, or live by their every belief. In fact, what pleases them most is us repurposing their strength and using their great love for us to fuel visions of life never seen before. I am in a never-ending intimate partnership with a Universe that comprehends and considers my needs, aiming to fulfill them at every turn. My “work” is to let it; throw in my belief, talent, and intuition to aid the mission.

As we open ourselves up to receiving, we open ourselves to becoming our fullest expressions of love. Frequently, we allow our wounds to get in our way and our pride to alienate us from bounty. Become acquainted with the sensations of being cared for, receiving what you want, and having security. These feelings are not beholden to anyone else. Black femmes are worthy, deserving, and overdue for a consistent shower of blessings.

We are called to allow ourselves to be the fullest possible expressions of love and vitality. This requires us to stop overdrawing our accounts. We can no longer give from places of lack. We have to allow others to pour into us as directed by the Universe. It is an exhibition of self-esteem to ask for what it is we desire and/or need. Individuals reserve the right to decline; it does not diminish the knowledge that we are worthy of the ask.

So, today, we “get” our lives. We understand who we are here to be. We receive healing. We receive abundance. We receive support. We relinquish shame and all notions that we are less than divine.

I challenge you. I challenge you to set a boundary anywhere your energy is leaking. I challenge you to ask for something you want. I challenge you to journal your understanding of yourself in relation to your ancestors. I challenge you to identify any damaging patterns or behaviors you’ve inherited. I challenge you to give yourself over completely to your highest self. I challenge you to take yourself on a date. I challenge you to give yourself the full measure of grace you give others. I challenge you to rest. I challenge you to enjoy your life.

Happy birthday. Get it how you live it! Claim it before you receive it!

In power and love, always.

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